wingedtiger | OPEN RP POST

[ The scene plays out over and over in Sasuke's mind. Their faulty intel, the trap sprung by that bastard Matsunaga, his haunting words, the explosion, the flurry of sword strikes, Yukimura's body falling to the ground... Sasuke screaming Yukimura's name...

No no no no! Focus damn it!

They escaped by sinking into darkness and emerged only when Sasuke feared it would be too much for Yukimura. Sasuke has been on the run with Yukimura limp in his arms ever since. By sheer luck, he carries Yukimura to a familiar isolated hut. It's the same hut they took shelter in during the storm. There's no mistaking it. The woodpile is just how they left it along with everything else they used from their last visit. (Sasuke gave the place a quick cleaning as thanks in case it wasn't as abandoned as they thought.)

Sasuke gently sets Yukimura on one of the blankets and immediately starts tending Yukimura's wounds. He cleans away the blood and dirt, sets broken bone, stitches together the cuts, applies salves to the burns, and then bandages everything up. The second blanket covers Yukimura's body to keep him warm, and Sasuke fold his own camouflage poncho for Yukimura to use as a pillow. Yukimura's clothing is in a pile awaiting cleaning and mending.

Yukimura has gotten through worse than this, right? He'll wake up soon.

Except Yukimura hasn't. He hasn't woken up yet.

Sasuke starts a weak fire with trembling fingers to make some rice porridge. Yukimura will be hungry when he wakes.

Except Yukimura hasn't. He hasn't woken up yet.

Yukimura's clothing is mended because Yukimura really can't go around wearing only bandages when he wakes.

Except Yukimura hasn't. He hasn't woken up yet.

Sasuke doesn't sleep. Every moment he starts to nod off, he startles awake by any sound or even the lack of it. He's a mess, pale and half dressed because he sacrificed his own clothing for Yukimura's comfort or as a change of bandages. His face paint is mostly wiped away from the many times he rubbed his watery eyes to clear his vision. He's only cleaned up because he needed to be as he tended Yukimura's wounds.

Curled up beside Yukimura lying supine, Sasuke clutches the end of Yukimura's ponytail and holds it close to face, as if in prayer. He doesn't dare cling to Yukimura in case he reopens a wound, but Yukimura has never felt so cold and far away... ]

... Don't... leave me too... Don't make me human... and then leave me...

[ He chokes back a sob. He can't fall apart. Yukimura needs him to... to... do his job...

Except Yukimura hasn't. He hasn't woken up yet. ]

[ Yukimura's dreams don't make sense.

Dreams don't tend to follow logic, generally speaking, but the things he sees while still unconscious are strange even by normal standards. Strange, loud, chaotic. A sinister voice delivers a monologue spoken in no language Yukimura has ever heard before. The words take shape. Scribbled black symbols form nonsense words, and the nonsense words and nonsense symbols pour down his throat and choke him.

The words smell like gunpowder and iron. They taste like dust.

And they burn like the fires of hell.

They choke him. It takes some time.

He doesn't know how much time. Maybe an eternity.

But eventually, he dies. He has no grave. There is only a pile of ash left.

--Then he is a ghost, watching himself from afar. The other him is alive, but tears, red and tar-like, ooze from his eyes.

The viscous red keeps dripping down. Red blots out the sky. The ground opens up and spills out red. All he can see is red.

All he can hear is a nonsense monologue. It's all he can feel. The nonsense is crawling into his skin. It's taking him over from the inside out, and it burns white-hot. His ghost will melt away, so that even his soul is destroyed. His head is a cacophony of noise, noise, burning noise.

But then he hears another voice. He can't place it, but it gives him a sense of déjà vu. He should know this voice.

He should follow this voice.

He, Sanada Yukimura, should help this person who sounds so sad.

Ah. That's right. His name is Sanada Yukimura, and this is only a dream.

This is only a dream -- but that sorrowful voice is real.

Yukimura opens his eyes, and is greeted by a blurry ceiling. That's strange. He blinks once or twice, but it doesn't get any less blurry.

He tries to sit up and gather his bearings, but his whole body is gripped with vicious pain, forcing him to lie right back down. What... happened? He can't remember off of the top of his head.

But in his peripheral vision, he spots a familiar shape. Even with his vision suffering (did he hit his head?), he would recognize Sasuke's silhouette anywhere. ]

...Sasu...ke?

[ His voice, which should be loud and full of energy, is uncharacteristically weak. He sounds dazed. ]

[ "Sasuke." It's such a faint, trembling word, but it has more power than any word Sasuke has ever heard previous. He bolts upright and smooths down Yukimura's hair with utmost gentleness. ]

I'm here.

[ Sasuke's voice is shaky and weak, matching Yukimura's. People say the brighter the flame, the darker the shadow, and surely, the reverse is true. The weaker the flame, the weaker the shadow. And if the flame goes out, the shadow is swallowed up by the darkness.

But Yukimura has finally woken. There is still light in Sasuke's life. So much can still go wrong, but Yukimura is awake. Sasuke has to take a breath to steady himself. He feels the urge to bury his face into Yukimura's chest and cry with relief as he's held. Such a stupid thought. Sasuke should be stronger than that.

... It's been awhile since Sasuke had been so terrified and felt so helpless. ]

I'm here, Master.

[ Master, not General, as if that title would keep Yukimura closer to the land of the living. Closer to him. ]

Are you thirsty? Hungry? Cold? In pain?

[ That last one may be obvious given the extent of Yukimura's injuries, but since Yukimura is awake, Sasuke can find something to dull it now. He wants to do something for Yukimura. Anything. Anything besides just watching and praying that Yukimura doesn't pay the toll to cross the river in death. Or pleading and bargaining with any soul that might hear to take him instead and let Yukimura live. ]

Edited (fixed a word and added a bit more) 2020-01-16 04:37 (UTC)

[ Yukimura needs a moment to process Sasuke's words. His mind feels so sluggish...

Sasuke sounds like he's been through hell. Looks like it, too, even with whatever's wrong with his sight. Was he worrying about Yukimura all this time? For that matter, how long was Yukimura out?

And what happened?

In his mind's eye, he sees fire. In the middle of that fire, there is a smudge of black and white and yellow that is probably a person. It almost rings a bell. ]

I'm...

[ He would normally be hungry after a battle -- and it's fair to assume a battle occurred -- but right now he just feels vaguely sick. He is in pain, but he's not even sure where to start describing it, because it's his entire body that hurts. ]

...glad you're here, Sasuke.

[ First and foremost, he wants to say that.

He needs to say that. ]

You look... blurry.

Where else would I be?

[ Sasuke tries to say lightly, but it's too forced. Besides, there is no other place Sasuke would be. Especially now. His place is at Yukimura's back as his shadow. ]

I'm... I'm glad you're here too.

[ At the mention of blurry vision, Sasuke stops petting Yukimura's hair and moves to stare closely into his eyes. From this distance, Yukimura might see Sasuke's red eyes and lack of facial paint... if his vision was clearer. ]

You were hit pretty hard. [ That's an understatement. ] With everything else that bastard did, it probably gave you a concussion. Your eyes look fine, just... unfocused. It'll clear.

[ Sasuke doesn't know this for sure, but he forces optimism for Yukimura's sake. The punches Yukimura and Shingen give each other rival the force of Matsunaga's blast and following impact against Sasuke as he tried cushion his landing. Yukimura's body should be able to recover like usual.

Then why can't Sasuke make himself believe it? ]

Do you want to try some water?

[ Sasuke asks. They still don't have any cups in this place. However, Sasuke could try to help Yukimura prop himself up. Or if he can't sit up, Sasuke could try trickling water from a cloth, his hands, or even transferring it mouth to mouth. ]

[ "That bastard"... The image of the black and white and yellow figure, surrounded by fire, becomes clearer.

Matsunaga Hisahide. There is one thing Yukimura knows for sure about Matsunaga, and it's that he possesses the insatiable desire to take. Nothing will ever be enough. Like a black hole, he takes, and takes; tangible things, intangible things, uniformly irreplaceable things.

He doesn't remember why they were fighting, but it's not hard to imagine a reason.

But if he's so badly wounded, they lost, didn't they?

He must have let everyone down again.

...

His throat is dry.]

...Yeah.

[ Then, a beat later: ]

Were you injured?

[ Sasuke's fears mirror Yukimura's. He feels he let everyone down. Gathering intelligence is one of his jobs, and they acted on the wrong information. His other job is as Yukimura's kagemusha... and he did no better at that. Their only saving grace was that they hadn't prepared for a full assault, merely aiding a battle that was supposed to be already happening. Except, there wasn't a battle to aid in. There was just Matsunaga. ]

Not much.

[ Some small wounds, but Sasuke has had worse. It's the parts unseen within him which have been mangled, his heart and soul. He moves to get some of the water he boiled and left to cool. It's still warm but not hot. With pot closer, he sits by Yukimura's head. ]

I'm going to help you sit up a little. If there's pain, let me know.

[ And he'll lay Yukimura back down and give him water another way. Maybe he should whittle one of the pieces of firewood into a spoon/bowl/cup shape... ]

[ Sasuke's not badly hurt. Yukimura can be grateful for that much.

Even if none of this should have happened in the first place.

With Sasuke's help he attempts to sit up, but he grimaces as intense pain shoots through him. ]

I just need... a moment...

[ No, he needs to lay back down. ]

[ He gently lowers Yukimura back to his camouflage poncho pillow. That grimace says enough, and nothing would make Sasuke continue. Not even a direct order. ]

We can try sitting up again later.

[ He soaks a small, clean piece of cloth, and places it near Yukimura's mouth. Sasuke squeezes it to trickle a little water past his lips. ]

There's no need to rush now.

I... won't argue with your judgment.

[ He wants to, if only because he can hardly stand being so helpless, but he knows that no amount of protesting is going to change the facts of his current condition.

He can't help feeling frustrated, though.

At least there's water, however slow-going the process of drinking it will be. ]

...I didn't realize I was so thirsty.

[ He dips the cloth into the water again and repeats. Sasuke manages a weak smile. Should he mention how long Yukimura was out for? Maybe not. It'll just worry him needlessly. ]

This will have to do unless you want to wait until I make a cup or transfer it mouth to mouth. I don't want to accidentally get you soaked and have to replace your bandages.

[ Sasuke makes a mental note to return to this place and stock it with essentials. If no one lives here, it's now a secret Sanada hideout. ]

[ The water-from-the-cloth technique is going to take so long, to say nothing of making a cup. Which leaves the mouth to mouth option.

It's a suggestion that brings on that familiar embarrassed feeling -- even with the recent change in their relationship -- but he needs water. ]

If you do not mind transferring it that way, then... Sasuke, would you... do that for me?

[ The request brings a little color to Sasuke's cheeks (an improvement for how pale he's been), but to his surprise, he's not as flustered as he might have thought he'd be. Perhaps it's because this action is more for survival than anything else. ]

There's very little I wouldn't do for you.

[ Having learned his mistake from the sake jug, Sasuke carefully tips the pot to his lips until he has sipped a small mouthful of water. He braces himself, one arm to each side of Yukimura, and lowers his head until their lips touch. Sasuke is very mindful of Yukimura below him and avoids putting any weight upon his injured body. ]

[ And that's why Yukimura can always count on him.

Sasuke seems kind of pink in the face, but Yukimura can't see clearly enough to tell if it's his imagination or not.

Yukimura opens up his mouth to let the water in, and then suddenly embarrassment doesn't factor in anymore. The relief of having something to drink is so much greater than any hang-ups about how this looks or what it reminds him of. It's still not ideal from a pure efficiency standpoint, but it's so much better than the cloth.

(Though that frustration with himself still simmers. He could have avoided this. He can't remember what happened, but he knows he could have avoided this.) ]

I... have never been more grateful for water... Thank you, Sasuke.

[ As many times as Yukimura needs or requests, Sasuke will continue to bring him water. He'll plant a feather light kiss to Yukimura's forehead after the last one. Then he sits again by Yukimura's side, ready to continue nursing Yukimura to a stable condition. He won't risk returning to the compound until he's sure Yukimura can weather the trip. ]

Are you warm enough, Master?

[ Again, Sasuke falls back on that more familiar title. A lieutenant general should be with the troops when the general is out of action, but to hell with that! His place is with Yukimura.

Sure they don't have to worry about the rainy weather this time, but Yukimura normally burns hotter and brighter than he is now. The last thing Sasuke wants is for Yukimura to feel like he's drowning in those cold waters like in some of his nightmares. ]

[ Sasuke's light kiss gets a smile from Yukimura, however short-lived. He hates to make Sasuke worry, but there's also no one else he'd rather have looking after him at a time like this.

Yukimura considers the question. ]

...Mm. This blanket is enough.

[ He's running cooler than usual, but not enough so that it's uncomfortable. ]

Sasuke, what... happened to me? I cannot remember feeling so... Feeling like...

[ Damn it. What word does he want? There's a terrible fog in his head. ]

Bad. This feels bad.

[ Not the word he was looking for, but it'll have to do. ]

[ Yukimura will hear shuffling beside him, and a light thud as Sasuke puts his forehead to the wooden floor, bowing as low as he possibly can. He takes a deep breath, trying to will himself to say this steadily. ]

It-It's my fault. My intel didn't lead us to assisting an ally needing help. It was a trap set by Hisahide Matsunaga. He--

[ Sasuke's voice chokes just then. Matsunaga snapping his fingers and the explosion fills his vision. Keep it together... Not now... ]

He said he'd either take the tiger cub's fire or the tiger cub's shadow. You took the brunt of his attacks.

[ ...Sure explains why Yukimura's in such an awful state.

What is wrong with Matsunaga? What compels a person to act out such selfish cruelty?

He can't understand, and he doesn't think he wants to.

Yukimura's response comes slowly as fights the fog in the head. ]

...If even you were tricked, it is only because that villain is so skilled in deceit. It does not reflect poorly upon you, Sasuke. This is not your fault. And he cannot get away with the same deception again.

[ The tiger cub's fire or the tiger cub's shadow. ]

Furthermore... he lost. We are both alive.

[ Sasuke doesn't think he could try to understand Matsunaga either, and perhaps that's why he was deceived. He couldn't think in the same way as that man. He can't be as selfish or as cruel as him.

Yukimura's right. They're alive, so Matsunaga lost... didn't he? Why then does Sasuke feel doubt sinking its claws into his... heart? ]

... What if... he didn't need to kill someone to take something of his?

[ Yukimura frowns. ]

...I... don't understand. What, besides our lives, could he have meant to take...?

Edited 2020-01-19 08:17 (UTC)

[ And Sasuke can see that frown because he's no longer bowing his head to the floor. Instead, he brings his arms around himself. ]

It's something he said to me as I disappeared into the darkness with you. It would've...

[ Sasuke swallows. The words are heavy on his tongue. ]

It's sounds so random unless you know what it might refer to. I don't... I don't know how he could possibly... He said the shadows can't hide the little monkey from the springtime clouds forever.

Edited (Posted too soon) 2020-01-19 08:30 (UTC)

[ Yukimura repeats the phrase a few times in his mind. It must refer to Sasuke... and it's something no one else should know.

There's a lot of things Sasuke keeps secret, but he'll venture a guess. ]

...Is this... Does he mean your... past?

He... he must have. Anything else... Just doesn't... It doesn't... He can't... but...

[ His voice trembles. Sasuke's breathing grows shallower and unsteady. ]

... The springtime clouds... It-It can only refer to... to... Y-Yoshiharu Mikumo...

[ How long has it been since he heard that name in the waking world? Much less said it? ]

[ "The shadows can't hide Sasuke from Yoshiharu Mikumo forever".

Everyone Sasuke knew died. That's what he said, right?

Only one person from that village remained, and he's right here in this room.

Yukimura is quiet for a long moment. ]

Was that... your name?

[ The silence goes on for so long after Yukimura's question that it almost seems like Yukimura won't receive an answer. But he does get one, quiet and fearful. ]

... Yes.

[ He wasn't always a ninja. He had been human once... like he's human again now. ]

"Sasuke" was the name my mother called me when we were alone, but I... I was Yoshiharu Mikumo, son of Katamochi Mikumo who served the Rokkaku Clan.

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of course i was going to go this route

Impatient Danna... tsk tsk

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