wingedtiger | OPEN RP POST

[ Yukimura needs a moment to process Sasuke's words. His mind feels so sluggish...

Sasuke sounds like he's been through hell. Looks like it, too, even with whatever's wrong with his sight. Was he worrying about Yukimura all this time? For that matter, how long was Yukimura out?

And what happened?

In his mind's eye, he sees fire. In the middle of that fire, there is a smudge of black and white and yellow that is probably a person. It almost rings a bell. ]

I'm...

[ He would normally be hungry after a battle -- and it's fair to assume a battle occurred -- but right now he just feels vaguely sick. He is in pain, but he's not even sure where to start describing it, because it's his entire body that hurts. ]

...glad you're here, Sasuke.

[ First and foremost, he wants to say that.

He needs to say that. ]

You look... blurry.

Where else would I be?

[ Sasuke tries to say lightly, but it's too forced. Besides, there is no other place Sasuke would be. Especially now. His place is at Yukimura's back as his shadow. ]

I'm... I'm glad you're here too.

[ At the mention of blurry vision, Sasuke stops petting Yukimura's hair and moves to stare closely into his eyes. From this distance, Yukimura might see Sasuke's red eyes and lack of facial paint... if his vision was clearer. ]

You were hit pretty hard. [ That's an understatement. ] With everything else that bastard did, it probably gave you a concussion. Your eyes look fine, just... unfocused. It'll clear.

[ Sasuke doesn't know this for sure, but he forces optimism for Yukimura's sake. The punches Yukimura and Shingen give each other rival the force of Matsunaga's blast and following impact against Sasuke as he tried cushion his landing. Yukimura's body should be able to recover like usual.

Then why can't Sasuke make himself believe it? ]

Do you want to try some water?

[ Sasuke asks. They still don't have any cups in this place. However, Sasuke could try to help Yukimura prop himself up. Or if he can't sit up, Sasuke could try trickling water from a cloth, his hands, or even transferring it mouth to mouth. ]

[ "That bastard"... The image of the black and white and yellow figure, surrounded by fire, becomes clearer.

Matsunaga Hisahide. There is one thing Yukimura knows for sure about Matsunaga, and it's that he possesses the insatiable desire to take. Nothing will ever be enough. Like a black hole, he takes, and takes; tangible things, intangible things, uniformly irreplaceable things.

He doesn't remember why they were fighting, but it's not hard to imagine a reason.

But if he's so badly wounded, they lost, didn't they?

He must have let everyone down again.

...

His throat is dry.]

...Yeah.

[ Then, a beat later: ]

Were you injured?

[ Sasuke's fears mirror Yukimura's. He feels he let everyone down. Gathering intelligence is one of his jobs, and they acted on the wrong information. His other job is as Yukimura's kagemusha... and he did no better at that. Their only saving grace was that they hadn't prepared for a full assault, merely aiding a battle that was supposed to be already happening. Except, there wasn't a battle to aid in. There was just Matsunaga. ]

Not much.

[ Some small wounds, but Sasuke has had worse. It's the parts unseen within him which have been mangled, his heart and soul. He moves to get some of the water he boiled and left to cool. It's still warm but not hot. With pot closer, he sits by Yukimura's head. ]

I'm going to help you sit up a little. If there's pain, let me know.

[ And he'll lay Yukimura back down and give him water another way. Maybe he should whittle one of the pieces of firewood into a spoon/bowl/cup shape... ]

[ Sasuke's not badly hurt. Yukimura can be grateful for that much.

Even if none of this should have happened in the first place.

With Sasuke's help he attempts to sit up, but he grimaces as intense pain shoots through him. ]

I just need... a moment...

[ No, he needs to lay back down. ]

[ He gently lowers Yukimura back to his camouflage poncho pillow. That grimace says enough, and nothing would make Sasuke continue. Not even a direct order. ]

We can try sitting up again later.

[ He soaks a small, clean piece of cloth, and places it near Yukimura's mouth. Sasuke squeezes it to trickle a little water past his lips. ]

There's no need to rush now.

I... won't argue with your judgment.

[ He wants to, if only because he can hardly stand being so helpless, but he knows that no amount of protesting is going to change the facts of his current condition.

He can't help feeling frustrated, though.

At least there's water, however slow-going the process of drinking it will be. ]

...I didn't realize I was so thirsty.

[ He dips the cloth into the water again and repeats. Sasuke manages a weak smile. Should he mention how long Yukimura was out for? Maybe not. It'll just worry him needlessly. ]

This will have to do unless you want to wait until I make a cup or transfer it mouth to mouth. I don't want to accidentally get you soaked and have to replace your bandages.

[ Sasuke makes a mental note to return to this place and stock it with essentials. If no one lives here, it's now a secret Sanada hideout. ]

[ The water-from-the-cloth technique is going to take so long, to say nothing of making a cup. Which leaves the mouth to mouth option.

It's a suggestion that brings on that familiar embarrassed feeling -- even with the recent change in their relationship -- but he needs water. ]

If you do not mind transferring it that way, then... Sasuke, would you... do that for me?

[ The request brings a little color to Sasuke's cheeks (an improvement for how pale he's been), but to his surprise, he's not as flustered as he might have thought he'd be. Perhaps it's because this action is more for survival than anything else. ]

There's very little I wouldn't do for you.

[ Having learned his mistake from the sake jug, Sasuke carefully tips the pot to his lips until he has sipped a small mouthful of water. He braces himself, one arm to each side of Yukimura, and lowers his head until their lips touch. Sasuke is very mindful of Yukimura below him and avoids putting any weight upon his injured body. ]

[ And that's why Yukimura can always count on him.

Sasuke seems kind of pink in the face, but Yukimura can't see clearly enough to tell if it's his imagination or not.

Yukimura opens up his mouth to let the water in, and then suddenly embarrassment doesn't factor in anymore. The relief of having something to drink is so much greater than any hang-ups about how this looks or what it reminds him of. It's still not ideal from a pure efficiency standpoint, but it's so much better than the cloth.

(Though that frustration with himself still simmers. He could have avoided this. He can't remember what happened, but he knows he could have avoided this.) ]

I... have never been more grateful for water... Thank you, Sasuke.

[ As many times as Yukimura needs or requests, Sasuke will continue to bring him water. He'll plant a feather light kiss to Yukimura's forehead after the last one. Then he sits again by Yukimura's side, ready to continue nursing Yukimura to a stable condition. He won't risk returning to the compound until he's sure Yukimura can weather the trip. ]

Are you warm enough, Master?

[ Again, Sasuke falls back on that more familiar title. A lieutenant general should be with the troops when the general is out of action, but to hell with that! His place is with Yukimura.

Sure they don't have to worry about the rainy weather this time, but Yukimura normally burns hotter and brighter than he is now. The last thing Sasuke wants is for Yukimura to feel like he's drowning in those cold waters like in some of his nightmares. ]

[ Sasuke's light kiss gets a smile from Yukimura, however short-lived. He hates to make Sasuke worry, but there's also no one else he'd rather have looking after him at a time like this.

Yukimura considers the question. ]

...Mm. This blanket is enough.

[ He's running cooler than usual, but not enough so that it's uncomfortable. ]

Sasuke, what... happened to me? I cannot remember feeling so... Feeling like...

[ Damn it. What word does he want? There's a terrible fog in his head. ]

Bad. This feels bad.

[ Not the word he was looking for, but it'll have to do. ]

[ Yukimura will hear shuffling beside him, and a light thud as Sasuke puts his forehead to the wooden floor, bowing as low as he possibly can. He takes a deep breath, trying to will himself to say this steadily. ]

It-It's my fault. My intel didn't lead us to assisting an ally needing help. It was a trap set by Hisahide Matsunaga. He--

[ Sasuke's voice chokes just then. Matsunaga snapping his fingers and the explosion fills his vision. Keep it together... Not now... ]

He said he'd either take the tiger cub's fire or the tiger cub's shadow. You took the brunt of his attacks.

[ ...Sure explains why Yukimura's in such an awful state.

What is wrong with Matsunaga? What compels a person to act out such selfish cruelty?

He can't understand, and he doesn't think he wants to.

Yukimura's response comes slowly as fights the fog in the head. ]

...If even you were tricked, it is only because that villain is so skilled in deceit. It does not reflect poorly upon you, Sasuke. This is not your fault. And he cannot get away with the same deception again.

[ The tiger cub's fire or the tiger cub's shadow. ]

Furthermore... he lost. We are both alive.

[ Sasuke doesn't think he could try to understand Matsunaga either, and perhaps that's why he was deceived. He couldn't think in the same way as that man. He can't be as selfish or as cruel as him.

Yukimura's right. They're alive, so Matsunaga lost... didn't he? Why then does Sasuke feel doubt sinking its claws into his... heart? ]

... What if... he didn't need to kill someone to take something of his?

[ Yukimura frowns. ]

...I... don't understand. What, besides our lives, could he have meant to take...?

Edited 2020-01-19 08:17 (UTC)

[ And Sasuke can see that frown because he's no longer bowing his head to the floor. Instead, he brings his arms around himself. ]

It's something he said to me as I disappeared into the darkness with you. It would've...

[ Sasuke swallows. The words are heavy on his tongue. ]

It's sounds so random unless you know what it might refer to. I don't... I don't know how he could possibly... He said the shadows can't hide the little monkey from the springtime clouds forever.

Edited (Posted too soon) 2020-01-19 08:30 (UTC)

[ Yukimura repeats the phrase a few times in his mind. It must refer to Sasuke... and it's something no one else should know.

There's a lot of things Sasuke keeps secret, but he'll venture a guess. ]

...Is this... Does he mean your... past?

He... he must have. Anything else... Just doesn't... It doesn't... He can't... but...

[ His voice trembles. Sasuke's breathing grows shallower and unsteady. ]

... The springtime clouds... It-It can only refer to... to... Y-Yoshiharu Mikumo...

[ How long has it been since he heard that name in the waking world? Much less said it? ]

[ "The shadows can't hide Sasuke from Yoshiharu Mikumo forever".

Everyone Sasuke knew died. That's what he said, right?

Only one person from that village remained, and he's right here in this room.

Yukimura is quiet for a long moment. ]

Was that... your name?

[ The silence goes on for so long after Yukimura's question that it almost seems like Yukimura won't receive an answer. But he does get one, quiet and fearful. ]

... Yes.

[ He wasn't always a ninja. He had been human once... like he's human again now. ]

"Sasuke" was the name my mother called me when we were alone, but I... I was Yoshiharu Mikumo, son of Katamochi Mikumo who served the Rokkaku Clan.

[ Yukimura's heart clenches. It's both strange and heartbreaking to think about how Sasuke had a whole life before the Takeda -- an identity, a family, a clan -- and it was all stolen from him.

Everything eradicated.

And yet, Matsunaga knows.

Yukimura wasn't cold before, but that makes a chill run through him. Matsunaga speaks as though he understands everything, and what's terrifying is that he actually seems to. ]

...But... I don't understand. What does any of this mean?

[ It was a life that lasted for only a few years. Sasuke's memories of that time are so faint, and he struggled to keep within his grasp, safe but unknown to anyone. Or so he thought. ]

I don't know... there shouldn't be anyone alive that...

[ No one alive from Sasuke's side of things, but what of the people who attacked the Mikumo and the Rokkaku? ]

Maybe Mother... didn't kill all the men chasing us to Togakushi Village....

[ He trails off. As a child, he took some small, dark comfort in the idea that his mother killed the bad men before dying herself. It hardly matters now, but it had been something that tiny, traumatized boy clung to. ]

No. No. You're right. It doesn't have to mean anything. I just have to get my act back together and forget everything and return to just being your shadow. Yoshiharu is dead. There's nothing of him left. He was just a stupid, weak, human boy who couldn't save the people he loved. The last bits of him burned up when all the Togakushi ninja did.

[ Matsunaga's inside Sasuke's head, making him relive the past and fear its repeat for a third time. And he messed up so badly and nearly got Yukimura killed... ]

I-I'm sorry. I can do something this time, Master. I won't let it happen again.

[ Yukimura forces himself to sit up, just so that he can look Sasuke in the eye.

He can't see well, and the pain's enough to make him sick. Getting the words out is a struggle.

But he perseveres. ]

Sasuke -- stop. Stop talking like that.

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of course i was going to go this route

Impatient Danna... tsk tsk

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